Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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