that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
