just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
