I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
