She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
