oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
