make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize