Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
