I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
