I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
