I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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