on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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