hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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