he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
