Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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