Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's paint friendship bongs
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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