She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
