he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
