i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
