Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
