I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
