i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
