bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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