I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
