Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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