i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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