I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Enjoy the penises
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
