The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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