Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
