and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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