Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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