Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
