It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
