i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
