I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
