I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
