and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
