my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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