Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize