What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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