This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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