We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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