we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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