From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
