I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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