I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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