I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would ride that face into the sunset
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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