don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
