first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
