Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
