Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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