this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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