He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
