Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
