Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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