so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
